• I want to become a sound recordist, can I get some work experience by assisting you? - Very sorry but I mainly work on documentaries where things move fast; teams are small; one uses one's expertise to work almost on "autopilot"; it is more about getting on with people and there are fewer of the technical complexities that someone starting in the business would need to learn. For the really interesting technical stuff you need to talk to someone who is mostly doing drama plays, drama series, soaps or music recordings. I do occasionally get to work on something unusually complicated that is a challenge to work on and requires one or more assistants but you would be waiting a long time for me to call you and let you know.
• How do I become a good boom operator? - Strap a heavy iron to a very long broom handle, hold it out horizontally at arm's length above your head by grasping the other end with both hands; then get a friend to be the actor and to walk around the room while you follow him or her, holding the heavy iron / broom handle contraption at an even height, level and a constant short distance above and yet just in front of your friend's head whichever way he or she turns. Then practice doing the same thing again while walking backwards down a flight of a dozen steps and then turning along a very long narrow corridor full of chandeliers and doorways without hitting any of them and without looking around to see where you are going. Don't forget not to allow any of your boom's shadows to fall within the area you think the camera might be looking. For added interest you could lay lengths of scaffolding pole on the floor along the corridor to simulate dolly tracks and also a few loose electric cables to remember to step over on each 'take'.
• What kit should I buy to set myself up as a sound recordist? - You need a minimum of: a mixer such as an SQN, a short shotgun microphone such as a Sennheiser 416 or 418, two personal microphones linked by radio systems such as those made by Micron or Audio Developments, a boom, a stand, a whole load of cables, some backup bits and pieces and some cases to put it all in. But nobody becomes a sound recordist just by buying the kit. When the BBC had over 60 full crews in its Film Department it had the best training and apprenticeship scheme in the world and it produced some of the best craftspeople in all areas of cameras, sound and editing but the wave of politically motivated "blue sky thinking" in the early 1990s destroyed all of that and threw the baby out with the bathwater. There are some training schools these days but to become a fully professional, quick thinking and well experienced film maker nothing beats being an  'apprentice' to several different professionals and competing with your peer group in a village atmosphere.
• We are making a low-budget film, will you work on it for expenses only? - Hmmm let's see now. May I turn the question around? When you go to see an accountant or a builder or to a dry-cleaner or to any other professional do you ask them if they will do their work for expenses only?
• But it will be FUN!  And when we have been successful with this project and are crewing our next production we will of course think of all the people who helped us out and ask for them again and then we will pay the full rates. - Yes, of course you will. Or you might just keep trying to find some eager inexperienced hopeful who will agree to be exploited for free. Just what is it with the film and television industry that zombifies people into allowing themselves to work really long hours for far less than the proper rate for the job?

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